AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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