i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
