she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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