I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
