So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Everything about him screamed your future.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
