lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
