He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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