why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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