Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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