Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
