is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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