The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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