i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
