Will you blow on my dice?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
