I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
