I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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