just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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