I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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