that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Never underestimate the power of titties
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
