I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
