I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize
