There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
