we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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