Can i not drive my cunt home
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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