I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
