It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
