In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
