you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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