You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
