Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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