Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize