i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
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