i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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