my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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