I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
