I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize