Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
