Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
