the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i love accidental penises.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
im holly from the hills drunk
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
