he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
