Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize