matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
