OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
