I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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