i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
