i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
only you would photoshop your dick
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Randomize
