If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
