the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
