apparently the secret to your success is patron
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize