Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Four minutes until I can fart!
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
