Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize