If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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