Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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