Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
