direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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