Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
