So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
